SPA Modeler

It's a stressful time for me. Leaving a home you have known for 40 years and breaking out. My Dad and I were at odds for just about the first 30 years of my life.


It's NOT that I hated him... He simply wasn't there... No need to go over the intervening years of our non relationship. It matters little or not at all. My Mum's is the most important person in my life. And by extension the most important person in many lives for the next 30 years. My Mum's was a world class drug counselor and eventual teacher of Special Needs children. To say Jeanne DeGrand is a special person , or Leading Light might tend to understate her role in everyone's lives she has touched through all these years.

To put it bluntly, My Mum's is a Super Hero. Not in any real sense mind you. But the lives she has touched, and the things she has achieved make many so called "people persons', or perhaps celebrated persons pale. There are many stories like my Mum's. Her's is not unique in the world of people who care beyond what is expected of someone.

I could go on ad infinitum perhaps. We all love those close to us to be sure. However, the morning of Nov 18 will echo in my mind for as long as I am allowed to give breath.

That morning Jeanne DeGrand had a massive stroke. Effectively taking My Mum's away from me. I was allowed to save her, being there minutes before leaving for work.

She can longer have long conversations with me. We can no longer take walks and idly chat.

I am faced with a cold hard reality of my Mum's, while still with me. Is not the same as when we started.

I took Mum's out for Mother's day to a local place and we had Fish n Chips New England style. Something most of you will never understand. Truly fresh fish that was in the drink only the day before and hand cut chips with fine wine.

There is loss. Loss of her guidance. loss of our deep conversations. Loss of my Father and his guidance. The dinners we had are precious memories.

And if you can't be with the one you love, honey love the one you're with.

I am lamenting hard is all...

Life is taking more than it is giving.

Fine writing, fine writing...

Cherish those while we have the chance.

Exactly! Life is short and you just never know what will happen. So love the ones close to you like it's the last day.

I can't say it any better. I'm truly sorry.

Your mum sounds like an incredible lady. Even though she is not what once was. Cherish what you have.
It's been 20 years since I lost mine

On a lighter note. Yes I know all about the fresh fish n chips. The food is one thing I miss about New England

[Heavy sigh]
I've never been one to "put it out there"...more of an "internalize and carry on" type.
My Dad...I'm having a hard time. His parkinsons has slowed him down so much. He still has some "sparks" of his former self, but I can see very clearly that he is very aware of what he has lost and that it's painful for him.
He was a Huey pilot and an amazing "figure outer" of any and all problems/issues.
I can't say we are close, in the sense of what most would consider as being close. It's more of an unspoken and mutually understood closeness. We are both very quiet and of few words...but we really don't need words to be close, while fishing together in the same places that his father fished.

Wanna talk about fresh fish?!
When we lived in Hawaii...Dad would wake me up at 3a.m. to go get breakfast. We timed it so we'd have about an hour and a half dive. As we came out onto the beach just after sunrise, dive bag with a few lobsters and fish...mom (and little bro) would be there with the grill ready to go. The lobsters came out of the bag, right onto the grill. I'd go clean the fish and their hearts were still beating in the bin when the filets started cookin. It don't get more fresh than that!!!

Sorry to hear of this, Fermis. I know he is special to you in so many ways.

Wow, I am touched by all this and I pray that you find Peace in these circumstances.

My experience with fresh fish is from Fort Walton Beach and Destin Florida where you can go into a restaurant on the beach and order the fresh fish of the day while it's still being pulled off the boat docked behind the restaurant. Also, if you go party boat fishing, they clean and fillet the fish after returning to the dock. Then there are the restaurants that are nearby that have signs saying "You caught it, we'll cook it!" Not quite as fresh as Fermis' fish, but sweet nonetheless.

Cherish the times you still have guys. I wish I could spend more time with my mom too. She's in Pensacola Florida while I'm still exiled out here in Kalifornia...